My friends, they love my intelligence
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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