u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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