You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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