We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
