i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
