can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
