Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Buhtt sex?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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