did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
