After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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