How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
