he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
