or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
