the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
