I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
