Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he puts the penis in happiness.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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