Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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