well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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