OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
