I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
