Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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(619): View more from California

Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?

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(714): View more from California

Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?

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(214): View more from Texas

Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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(845): View more from New York

It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.

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(646): View more from New York

I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.

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