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FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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