I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You are the jesus of drinking
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
