you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize