i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's like heaven, but drunker
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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