we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
