i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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