i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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