Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
