what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
