i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
