Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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