And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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