good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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