i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
