Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
