Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
