wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
