We're like a lot better than the average bears
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You're like the curious george of whores
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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