I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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