she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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