So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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