just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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