Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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