all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
