but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
