Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
