8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
this hospital has no fireball
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
