Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
