the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
