i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
