apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
